Here isn't where I want to be
by theladywarbler
Summary: "Felicia glances over in time to catch MJ place a soft kiss on Peters lips. His eyes close, but quickly open to meet Felicia's. She looks away quickly, but can't help but glance back. She was so sure Peter was with Gwen again." Felicia Hardy's life is turned upside down after her fathers trial. All she can do is watch in jealousy as everyone around her gets to be happy and in love.
1. How many secrets can you keep?

I feel like, because of my last authors note, I should make it known that this is a completely different universe than Calm and Reposed:P

* * *

Twenty to life. Twenty to life is the estimate of how long it would be until Felicia Hardy saw her father again. He was convicted of 9 offenses of Grand Theft. 8 of Breaking and Entering. 1 Aggravated Assault charge. 8 Damage of Private Property. No outside contact, no visitors. Twenty to life.

Her father had been caught, and put on trial within a two week period. To her, it felt like yesterday she was watching on the news as Spiderman, and the NYPD caught her father and his helpers. She wonders if they know why Walter Hardy stole for a living. She wonders if they know it was to pay for her mothers medical bills, and to provide for their family. Trying to survive cancer wasn't cheap.

Luckily Walter Hardy had planned for the event of his arrest. The Hardy bank account was dry, but their home and city had a few pockets of money. It won't last very long, and Lydia Hardy will have to move the two of them to somewhere more affordable.

Felicia's already beginning to decide what she can do without, in the event of her having to sell her things to make it by. Her mother is still too sick to work.

With her fathers 'career' her family moved frequently, so moving isn't the problem, it's the one bedroom apartment they now share. They move into the apartment one week after her fathers sentence. Lydia takes the bedroom, Felicia gets the futon in the living room. The Hardy's now travel double what they are used to to get anywhere. Queens isn't anything like their quaint Manhattan apartment. The Hardy's weren't used to a glamorous lifestyle, but they definitely weren't used to this. Most of the money Walter would make went to his boss, and to medical bills.

Felicia dresses like she would any other day on her first day back. She'd prefer to wear comfy clothing, she's exhausted from the previous events in her and her 'bed' isn't exactly comfortable. It's her first time taking the subway from Queens, and she's worried she'll get lost on her way to school. Luckily her classmates, Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson, board a station or two after she does. She hadn't expected to see anyone from school on the subway, and makes sure to zone into the music she's listening to.

She doesn't know much about either one of her classmates. They're not exactly in her friend group. She knows that Peter Parker hadn't been popular, or nearly as good looking until the middle of his junior year. She knows that MJ is with Harry Osborn, and that Peter has dated, on and off, Gwen Stacy. When they had broken up the first time their were rumors about him and Mary Jane, but they were back together now. Felicia glances to MJ and Peter, and quickly decides that the way he looks at MJ provides enough evidence to support the rumors. He's gently examining her black eye, and his eyes are a mixture of sympathy, and hatred. A look Felicia registers as one that you give when someone you love is hurt.

Felicia's never had a boyfriend before. No one has ever really taken interest in her, except that one time Flash catcalled her. She wonders what it must be like to be Gwen Stacy, or even Mary Jane Watson, and have her pick of guys. Of course Felicia wouldn't really want that, but she can't help but wonder.

She pulls her left earbud out to hear what the conductor says, and if her memory is right they are two stations from their exit. She'll wait on her classmates to make a move first, though. As they stop at the next exit she watches from the corner of her eye for any movement. The two friends have been carrying a conversation the whole trip, and now sat looking at each other. Felicia glances over in time to catch MJ place a soft kiss on Peters lips. His eyes close, but quickly open to meet Felicia's. She looks away quickly, but can't help but glance back. She was so sure Peter was with Gwen again.

She sees Peter push MJ away from him. She can't hear over her music, but she can read MJ's lips well enough to know that she's repeating 'I'm sorry' again, and again. She watches as MJ places her head in her hands. The two don't speak again, and MJ exits the subway as soon as the door opens for their station. Felicia stands to leave, and sees Peter still sitting there. She wants to ask if everything's okay, but doesn't feel like it's her place.

She's walking the short distance from the station to Midtown when she feels a hand tap her shoulder. Felicia pulls out her headphones, and turns to see and out of breath Peter Parker. She looks at him, questioningly, but doesn't say anything.

"Hey, Felicia, right?" He asks and she nods. "I've never seen you on the subway before."

"I just moved to Queens." She says, not wanting to go into detail.

"Oh. Well welcome to the neighborhood!"

"Thanks." Felicia lets out a small laugh.

"Look-" Peter starts, scratching the back of his neck. "You saw what happened on the subway, and I wanted to ask that you don't tell Gwen. I know that you don't know either one of us very well and-" He begins to ramble.

"I won't say anything." She says softly.

"Are you sure?" He asks, and she nods. "It's just there's a lot of stuff going on with MJ, and she kissed me, and I don't want Gwen taking it the wrong way. I'm going to tell her, but I want her to hear from me."

"I won't say anything." She repeats.

"That's great, thanks!" He says, and smiles at her.

"No problem." Peter doesn't walk with her the rest of the way, in fact he runs ahead of her to catch up with MJ.

It's not that Felicia doesn't have friends, she does, but only two of them attend Midtown, and they have no classes together. She sits in her English class, away from most of the other students in that class. It's the only class she has with Peter Parker, and the only class that the four friends have together. The four friends are, of course, Peter Parker, Gwen Stacy, MJ Watson, and Harry Osborn. There are other small groups of friends seated together in the classroom.

"Where's Felicia been?" Some girl whispers to her friends.

"You haven't heard?" Felicia zones into her copy of Hamlet, not wanting to hear a retelling of how her father had been arrested, how her mother is too sick to work, and how she'd probably never see him again.

The bell can't ring fast enough, and she's determined to be the first one out of the classroom. She gathers her things quickly and leaves, trying to ignore four of her classmates sympathetic stares. None of them understand. Peter, she was sure lived a nice life with his mom and dad. The same for Mary Jane, who she was sure was spoilt to death by her family. Harry Osborn's father was a billionaires, and he had everything handed to him. The only person whose stare didn't cause her anger was Gwen Stacy's, who Felicia knew had lost her father just the year before.

Felicia does her work in silence for the rest of the day, not even speaking to her two friends during lunch. She rushes to the consulars office after school, quietly asking for a free lunch form. They protest at first, but even then she doesn't admit to not eating lunch because she didn't have the money. She boards the first subway back to Queens, and is followed by the same company she had that morning: Peter and MJ. This time, instead of her eyes lingering on the two of them, she feels Peters eyes stay on her for most of the ride.

MJ and Peter exit on the same exit the boarded on and Felicia exits on the next one. She goes home to gather some of the things she's decided to pawn off, a few necklaces and a guitar she never learned, and now will never learn. She can't escape the feeling that someone is following her as she moves through the unfamiliar territory that is Queens. She makes a deal with the worker at the pawn shop, $150 wasn't too bad. She'd need to find a job soon.

She manages to pick up a few applications on her way home. It isn't until she's in the safety of her apartment that she feels completely alone. Her mothers in her bedroom, but she doesn't feel the harsh stares of her peers and that's close enough to alone. She heats up her mother a bowl of soup, and brings it to her. Her mother, who had grown depressed at the loss of Walter Hardy, whispers a 'Thank you' and begins to eat.

Felicia has so much make-up work, and homework that she looses track of time. By the time she's only a quarter of her way done it's already midnight, and she's forgotten to eat dinner. She quickly snacks on a few crackers, before deciding she should fill out her job applications before going to sleeps. She sits at the coffee table, the living room lit by only the tv, and fills out the redundant forms. It's then she hears the light taping on the window. She ignores it the first time, blaming it on exhaustion, but it happens again. This time she moves slowly to the fire escape, and in some part of her tired mind she has deluded herself into believing that it's her father. She imagines Walter Hardy, followed by the crew of Punk'd, to enter the apartment. She stops before lifting the shade and closes her eyes.

She's drawn from her thoughts by a tapping again. She finally gathers the courage to open the shades, only to be met by the same red and blue suit that she has seen standing next to her father on ever newspaper cover. She's confused at first, but he motions for her to open the window, and she does so. He crawls into the apartment and stands in front of her. He's only a little bit taller than her, but his body wider. She's confused as to why he's here.

"I'm sorry." He says simply, handing her a small bag, like the kind you keep pencils in.

"You shouldn't be." She replies after realizing what this meeting is about. Spiderman feels bad, or at least he's acting like he does, about catching her father.

"I didn't realize what the ripple effects would be." He says, and although his mask covers his eyes, she knows he is looking around the small apartment. Felicia just states at him. "Open it!" He motions to the bag in her hands. She slides the zipper open, and glances inside. There's money, and a lot of it.

"I don't need this." She says, handing it back to him.

"Please take it." He refuses to grab it.

"No." Felicia shakes her head. "I don't need, or want it."

"Please." He says again. "This way you won't have to work as much." He motion to the applications sprawled across the table.

"We're fine." She says, and this time he takes it.

"If you say so."

"Thank you, though."

"Anything to help." He nods to her. He turns to go out the window, but looks back before leaving. "I am so sorry, Felicia Hardy." He then leaps out the window and is gone.

Felicia gets maybe and hour and a half of sleeps, but she feels better in the morning. She's fixing a cup of coffee when there's a tap on the window. She opens the window, and fully takes in the apartments view of New York. It looks beautiful in the sunrise. She's fixing to shut the window when she notices a bag, the same one she saw last night. There's a sticky note attached that says 'I don't take no for an answer' and she chuckles a little. This Spiderman guy is a character.

She looks to the building across the street to see the red and blue wearing superhero. He waves to her quickly, and swings off. She feels her cheeks heat up and grow pink.

Felicia Hardy has a crush on the masked man.

But Spiderman's money, like all money, begins to runout. Felicia has a job, but her hours start to fall, and she has to focus on school if she wants to graduate. Mrs. Hardy begins to feel better about her husband, but every wave of chemo put her back in bed. Felicia pickpockets for the first time one day after school, on the crowded subway, to pay for dinner. She doesn't notice Peter Parkers eyes lingering on hers.

She feels guilty afterwards.

Felicia doesn't pickpocket, or steal anything for a very long time. But as prom grows closer she has a burning desire to do one thing normal. She stays in Manhattan, where she knows she'll get the most money. She finds out quickly that most people prefer carrying credit cards over cash. She evens out with a nice $90, enough to buy a ticket, but she still needs a dress.

She shoplifts for the first time that following weekend. She gets caught of course, sneaking out with a prom dress is surprisingly difficult. The police get called, but the store doesn't press charges. They just ask for her to pay for the damages done to the dress while trying to detach the security ink tag, and there goes her $90. But in the end her mom isn't called, and Felicia gets off with a warning, so it's okay.

To her delight the wall crawler makes an appearance the next night. He doesn't tap on her window, he knocks rather harshly. It's almost midnight, and Felicia hopes it didn't wake her mother. She slides the glass up anyways, and tries to not show how happy he is to see him. He climbs in, and crosses his arms. "What?" She says quietly, chuckling a little.

"I gave you money." He says sternly. "I gave you money, Felicia, so you wouldn't do anything stupid."

"What are you talking about?"

"You've been stealing."

"I don't know what you mean." She lies smoothly.

"I know you've been pickpocketing, and I know you tried to shoplift." His voice is filled with anger, if only she knew who was behind the mask, and how he didn't have much money either. "I gave you money, where did it go?"

"My moms sick." She drops the innocent act. "She's very sick, and it costs a lot to take care of her."

"I see." He nods. "You don't have to steal for a living."

"I have a job." She notions to her uniform that's sitting on the table. "But it's not enough. I have to pay for this place." She explains. "I have to pay for the subway, and for hospital bills, and for clothes, and for school supplies, and I have to eat."

"That doesn't justify your stealing, and shoplifting. You didn't need those things." Felicia doesn't answer, and she doesn't look at him. "You don't need those things." He repeats.

"I just wanted to go to prom." She shrugs. He nods.

"Don't let it happen again." And with that he leaves. Felicia doesn't go to her senior prom.

She's called to the consulars office on a Thursday afternoon, three weeks before graduation. "You owe us $35 in graduation fee's, and we still haven't collected the $40 for cap and gown, and there's a $30 fine for your school fees being late." The consular explains sadly. "If it was just one of these I could probably overlook it, but it's too much."

"I can't pay it." She shrugs.

"Okay." The consular nods. "I can void the cap and gown fee, the graduation fee, and if we can keep it between us, I'll ignore the late fee." She looks over her papers again. "Then you can graduate, you just can't walk."

"Okay." Felicia nods, settling for what she can. "Thank you." She turns to leave the office.

"Felicia," The consular calls before she opens the door. "I'm sorry, I really am."

The leaves the consulars office, and goes to exit through the main office, where she's sees Peter and a older woman who she assumes is his mother. The woman is talking to the secretary, and Peter sits on a bench. "Hey!" He calls after her. She turns, slightly confused. She hasn't spoken to Peter since that first day on the subway.

"Hey." She says as he follows her out front door of the office, and into the lobby.

"What's up?" He asks.

"Oh, I'm just headed to English."

"Is everything okay?" He asks.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She says, then attempts to change the subject. "I saw pictures of you and Gwen at prom! You both looked really nice. I loved her dress." She says, thinking about how it was the same one she attempted to steal.

"Thank you! I'll let her know you said that." He says, looking through the windows to check on his mom.

"Are you in trouble?" Felicia asks.

"I accidentally broke a basketball goal, again."

"Again?" She laughs.

"Yeah." He shrugs. "They may not let me walk at graduation."

"That sucks!" Felicia says genuinely feeling sympathy for the somewhat popular boy. "That's kind of an overreaction, don't you think?"

"Yeah, definitely. I've been looking forward to graduation since my first day of freshman year."

"Haven't we all?" She laughs, beginning to feel sad about not being able to walk.

"Peter Parker!" His mother calls as she leaves the office.

"Yes Aunt May?" Wait, Aunt May? Felicia's mind runs in circles. Peter lives with his Aunt?

"You're suspended for the rest of the day, but you can walk."

"Awesome!"

"But that doesn't mean you're not in trouble with me!" He follows her as she leaves.

"Bye Felicia!" He calls, and she waves to him.

That night she finds a bag of money outside her window with just enough to pay her fee's. She looks around outside, and see's Spiderman. She doesn't mean to cry, but she can't stop the first tear. He doesn't stay around to watch. Felicia Hardy would graduate like a normal teenager. She would graduate and only a small group of people will clap when her names is called. Two are her friends, and the other four are their own clique.

That's the last time she sees the mysterious man until two years later when she's a sophomore at ESU. When she sees him again she's not Felicia Hardy, she's the Black Cat. And she's even more in love with Spiderman than she was as a teenager.


	2. You and me could have been a team

Felicia Hardy gets the opportunity to attend Empire State University, but only after tragedy strikes. She knew her mother wasn't getting better, but she had planned on waiting until the spring to attend college, wishing to stay with her mother. It's the middle of July, after three days in the hospital, when Mrs. Hardy dies peacefully, in her sleep.

Her funeral is small, and only a few relatives and some of her mothers friends attend.

Felicia immediately knows she has to move out of her Queens apartment, and she pleads with admissions to be allowed in during the fall semester.

She moves into ESU that August, she likes her roommate enough. She even meets a boy. He's nothing in comparison to her masked crush, and like most of the things in Felicia Hardy's life, it leaves her with disappointment. They're dating for almost two months when he hits her during an argument. She forgives him, and believes it wont happen again.

She leaves the next time, but he finds her a few days later. He's drunk and tries manages to get two hits in, and a few tugs at her clothing before he's yanked off of her. Peter Parker, the boy from high school is standing there, and she can't quit crying. She keeps crying, and he stands there, awkwardly holding her.

"Peter!" She hears the barely recognizable voice of Gwen Stacy calling him. "Peter?!"

"I'm down here." He calls, and she comes running to the scene. Felicia doesn't see her through her tears, but she knows that voice.

When she's calmed down enough to speak she says she can find her way back to her dorm, she's embarressed. Peter and Gwen protest, but she demands to walk herself.

Felicia refuses to ever feel that helpless again.

She takes more self defense classes than she can count. She even begins to teach one. She grows stronger everyday, and she refuses to feel helpless again.

The Black Cat wasn't originally supposed to be a thief. She was supposed to be a hero, someone who keeps people safe. Someone like Spiderman.

She's good all summer. She helps people, she makes sure women get home safely, she tries so hard to make sure no one gets hurt. She doesn't wear a costume, she's still Felicia Hardy.

That August when school lets back in she sees Peter Parker for the first time again. Apparently him and Gwen are still on/off like high school, and he's with a girl from his work, Betty Brant.

Peter sits next to her in Sociology. They don't talk about what happened.

It's when Felicia finds out that her father died that she realizes she wants to follow in his footsteps. The Black Cat is born.

She steals everything she wants. Diamonds, money, cars, everything glamorous she's ever thought about but couldn't afford.

She steals because she can.

And like that Felicia Hardy is living the lifestyle of a celebrity. She hangs out with up and comming musicians, and actors. She's surronded by lavish things, and pushes all the bad memories to the back of her head.

She can't push the masked man to the back, though. She longs to see him, but she supposes the costume keeps her real identity secret.

The first time she sees him she's carefully clawing at the glass between her and the diamond. Slides down from the ceiling, upside down of course, and grabs her hand. "Spiderman what a surprise." She says, but it's more like a purr.

Felicia can play bad, she can play sexy.

He doesn't reply though, and he doesn't let get hand go. "Cat got your tongue?" She leans in close to his face.

"Leave."

"And if I don't?"

"I don't want to fight, Black Cat. That's what you're calling yourself, right?"

"That is what I'm calling myself." She smirks, hiding her excitement that he's here.

"Let it go." He demands.

"I don't think so?" She shakes her head.

It's swift, and almost surprising how fast she's on the ground. "Black Cat? You seem more like a newborn kitten." He laughs. "Go shoplift a convenient store, and leave the big things to the real thieves."

She's up and now has Spidey pinned to the ground. "Didn't anyone ever tell you Black Cats bring bad luck, Spiderman?"

He's got the lea, then she has the lead, then he has the lead, then they're both refraining from exhaustion, then she runs before he can catch her.

Two days later Peter Parker asks where she got her bruise from, and Felicia thinks nothing of it. She suspects he's worried she has a new boyfriend.

He doesn't push it though, and she doesn't see him again until the next week.

The Black Cat does see Spiderman again though. Felicia grows confident as the Black Cat, and dives further into the characteristics she's assigned to the criminal. Sneaky, seductive, sassy.

It's like a game of cat and mouse, but they change roles frequently. The Black Cat thinks it's fun, Spiderman finds it a hassle.

"Oh, Spider, I'm so happy to see you hear." She smirks as he appears in front of her. "Could you give me a boost?" She nods to the safe that is on the wall.

"Cat, what a pleasant surprise. How long will you drag on this game?

"I have nine lives, it will be a while."

"Who do you work for?"

"Myself."

"No, who is it? Kingpin? Doc Oc?"

"Myself. This is all for me." She shakes her bag filled with jewelry. He pushes her quickly to the wall, and he has her too tight for her to move.

"Let's see who it's really for." He plays with her mask that surrounds her eyes.

"Don't." She says, genuinely concerned that he will see who she is. That he will be so repulsed he'll never come near her again. "Please, no."

He removes it anyway. "Just as I suspected." He lets her go. "Felicia Hardy, I wish this was a surprise. I thought we settled this?"

"It's not hurting anyone."

"You're stealing."

"Yeah, but they'll be fine. They have insurance on this stuff."

"That doesn't make it morally right."

"Your morals aren't my morals."

"You have no morals." He says bitterly.

"You're not one to talk." She yanks her mask back. "If you're so morally correct show me who you are."

"I'm not the one breaking the law." He backs away, but she follows him.

"Then you have nothing to hide." She completely dives into the seductive act, and grabs to the bottom of his mask. "Show me who you are." She purrs, tugging at the mask with one hand, the other placed on his chest. "Who are you?"

Spiderman tries to push her away, but she only tugs further. The mask is over his mouth, and it's apparent she won't be able to fight his pushes much longer so she does the only thing she can: she kisses him. And he kisses her back.

"I take back what I said." She says, pulling back. "Keep the mask on the rest of the way."

"Okay." He nods, forehead against hers. "Okay."

The next Thursday Felicia goes to her sociology class, and sits next to Peter, who won't look at her. She doesn't understand why, but she ignores it. She has more important bugs to catch. She sees him at a coffee shop with Gwen the next night, and she refuses to meet his stare.

She sees Spiderman that night as she's attaching her gliding equipment to a building across from an electronics store. Someday she's like to have the whole city rigged for her traveling needs. He sits down on the edge of the roof, and doesn't make a move towards her. "It's good to see you Spider." She chuckles. "Are you just going to sit there?" He stands.

"I think it's only fair that you know who I am. Felicia, I trust you that much." He says.

"It's okay." She shakes her head. "I don't have to know." As long as he lets her pull up his mask far enough to kiss him she doesn't need to know anything more.

"Felicia, you know me. Please let me show you who I am." She shakes her head, fearing that she already knows who he is. "I'm doing it anyway." He pulls at the mask, revealing his mouth. She kisses him to stop him. "I have a girlfriend Felicia, Gwen, you know that." He pulls slowly at the mask.

She knows who he his before the mask comes of. How has she missed this?

Every time Spiderman came into her life who had been around?

When it's announced about her father and mother in English class?

When she can't afford prom?

In the office that day when they tell her she can't graduate?

When she comes to sociology with bruises?

"No!" She yells. "I know who you are, please keep the mask on!" She begs, but Peters face is revealed anyway. "Peter, put the mask back on."

"Felicia, look at me." He coaches her.

The embarrassment.

She didn't have money to eat, but he took care of her.

She couldn't afford prom, and he knew.

She couldn't afford to graduate, so he gives her money.

She's so embarrassed that Peter Parker knows these things. She'd accepted Spiderman would know, but not Peter.

"No." She sits on the ground crying. "Please put the mask back on."

"No. You know me!" He yells.

"Put the fucking mask back on Peter!" She yells back. "Please." She cries again. "Please put the mask back on. You can't take your mask off."

"Okay." He nods, sensing her feelings of embarrassment.

Felicia quickly leaves the seen to return to her apartment. There she doesn't sleep, she just replays every memory of Spiderman and Peter Parker she has.

She stops going out, and she moves seats in sociology. She doesn't love Peter Parker, she loves Spiderman. How could the two possibly be the same person? Peter had been so scrawny and awkward, and now he was New York's favorite superhero.

It only takes three weeks before that familiar need returns, the need to steal something. The need to run around her city.

She goes out, and of course Spiderman catches her. "Hello Peter." She announces upon seeing his shadow.

"Felicia." He nods.

"Any thing in particular you have to say tonight? Because if not I think it's best we both carry on with ourselves."

"You know who I am." He sates.

"I do? I hadn't noticed."

"You and Gwen are the only people who know."

"That's a lovely club we have going." She smiles as she successfully removes the glass from the jewelry showcase.

"You can't tell anyone."

"Why would I do that? So you can tell everyone who I m? No thanks."

"I wouldn't tell anyone."

"Okay, then this stays between me, you, and your girlfriend. She is your girlfriend again, right?"

"Yes, Felicia, she is."

"Good."

Felicia has an absolutely luxurious Christmas break. It's lonely though.

She likes to imagine when she sees Spiderman that it's not Peter Parker under that mask, but he's a stranger. It makes it easier that way. Somewhere in Felicia's subconscious she knows that she's not in love with Spiderman, she's in love with that mystery. It's an unreachable goal, and that makes it easier. If she can never get him he can never leave her. He can never go to jail, or get cancer, or hit her even though he swears he loves her. It's an unattainable goal.

When school comes back into session she has no classes with Peter, but she has one with Gwen. She sits next to her when Gwen calls her over.

The way that Gwen talks about Peter makes her think that they will spend the rest of their lives together. That they are done with on again/off again relationships. Felicia still wishes she could find that with someone, even though it will never be with the masked man. She just wishes it would be with someone so she could move on.

Felicia reflects a lot on Gwen and Peters relationship after Gwen dies. Gwen got to spend the rest of her life with Peter, but Peter will never be able to spend the rest of his life with her.

Spiderman stops going out, and so does Peter Parker. Felicia feels so violently ill over the situation that she stops being the Black Cat. Although she barely knew her, she misses Gwen.

It's almost two months after Gwen dies that the Black Cat emerges again. Felicia feels it like an addiction. She's not a kleptomaniac, she just likes stealing from the rich. She just likes stealing from anyone.

It's ironic, though. She steals, but that night she stops a mugging, and walks a girl home from a bar.

She feels guilty going out, and she knows there's no chance of Spiderman coming out again. She knows from the gossip going around school that he's living with his Aunt again, and she decides to pay him a visit. She's seen him going to class, but he doesn't look at her, and she doesn't say hi to him.

She manages to break into the offices that night to find out exactly where he lives, then goes back to her apartment. She tries to sleep, but the anxiety kills her.

She stands on the porch of May Parkers house for a good five minutes before reaching out to knock. The same woman she say her senior year of high school answer the door. She's dressed in scrubs, and looks like she's gathering her things. "Hi." She greets Felicia, but it sounds more like a question. Felicia suspects that they've received reporters since Gwen's death.

"Hi, my names Felicia." She pauses, and May nods. "I'm a friend of Peters, and I was wondering if he was home." The woman steps out of the door, and closes it behind her.

"He's upstairs, but I don't think.. He's still upset." She shrugs. "Just.. You said you're friends right?" Felicia nods. "Be gentle, he's frustrated right now."

"I understand." She nods.

"I have to work tonight, please make sure he's not upset when you leave."

"Of course."

Aunt May opens the door again, and points her to the door that Peter is behind. Felicia knows that he knows she's hear. His powers kill the chance of ever surprising him. She stops before the door, and knocks softly. "What Felicia?"

"I wanted to see you."

"I want to be alone."

"I don't care." The door unlocks, and Peter stands behind it. He's been crying. Felicia enters, and takes a seat at the computer desk. Peters room is very different from hers. It's filled with pictures of his friends, especially Gwen. She doesn't understand how he can stand it with all these pictures of her, she barely knew Gwen and feels like she's suffocating in her memory.

"What are you doing her?" He slides on the bed.

"I told you I came to see you." She shrugs. "I wanted to make sure you were okay. We used to be kinda friends, remember?"

"I'm fine." He laughs bitterly. "I'm great."

"Peter don't do that."

"No, you don't get to come into my house, into my room, and ask me if I'm okay then try and make me feel guilty." Felicia winces as the volume in his voice gets louder. "Of course I'm not okay."

"Peter, please don't yell at me, I want to help you. I know what it's like to-"  
"To what? To lose your mother? You had known for years!" He shouts. "To lose your father? Well guess what, he didn't care obviously! He knew he was going to be caught, I told him he was going to get caught! He didn't give a shit, he kept going! You're both greedy!" Felicia nods, trying to accept that Peter needs to be angry, it just has to be at her. She's experienced grief many times over, she understands. "You don't understand! You're not my friend! You're some girl that I felt bad for in high school because I played a part in getting her father arrested. There are no mutual feelings of friendship here!" He continues to rant. "We're not friends! If I wanted to talk I would call Harry, or Mary Jane, or hell, I'd call Flash. You don't have friends because you are incapable of having feelings for someone beyond a casual conversation! So please, don't tell me you understand, and don't ask me how I'm doing."

Felicia let's him yell, and yell, and she tries to take it. She tries to keep understanding, but when he says they're not friends she can't help but cry. She thought that she had finally established something, but she was just some stupid girl that fell in love with his alter ego. When he finally stops yelling he sees what he's done. "I'm sorry." She says. "I'm sorry."

"No, no, no." He leans down in front of her. "Of course you understand, I'm sorry Felicia, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay." She says, but keeps crying. Peters hands rub her arms.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He repeats until she stops crying. He hands her a tissue, and she blows her nose. "I'm such an asshole." Peter says, laughing halfway, and pushing her hair out of her eyes.

She can't help herself, she kisses him, and to her surprise he kisses back. He kisses her softly at first, slowly. One minute he's sitting in front of her, holding her hands in her lap. Then she's slowly standing up, and pulling him with her. Their kisses are slow, and sweet.

Then she's against the door, and there are small gasps in the air.

Then she's on the bed.

Felicia understands, and even respects, that Peter has lost someone he loved recently. Possibly even who he was supposed to spend the rest of his life with. That's why she doesn't take it personally when Peter calls Gwen's name twice that night. She doesn't comment when he cries. She doesn't tell him that it's her first time, and that he's being too rough.

In return he doesn't say anything when they're done, he looks guilty. She wants to let him know that he shouldn't feel bad about it, and that she's trying to be understanding but doesn't know how to express it. Instead, she lays her head on his chest, and runs her fingers through his hair as he cries.

For once Felicia thinks that maybe, just maybe, she could love Peter Parker and Spiderman.

* * *

**Wow, I didn't plan on making this more than a one shot, but I received a lot of positive messages and comments, and decided to make it at least a three shot:)**

**Feel free to comment/subscribe:) **


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